My Corona Chronicles

Behind the smiles there is fear, behind the bravado there is anxiety and behind the laughter there is panic. Many are getting their end of life paperwork in order as they fear death will take them. We are having the "if I die" conversations with our loved ones. I have had it with Jose. We cannot physically be with friends and family, that are not immediately with us, which sucks. Many did not expect the financial devastation it will bring upon them. Our liberties are being compromised to protect others and we are finding ways to make it tolerable. What we are doing to make it tolerable is a symbolic mask many of us are wearing to calm our fears and emotions. We are managing emotions that we never thought we would, or thought we could bear. This extremely heavy situation has me experiencing many of these emotions.

I polled several of my friends and family on the impact it was having on them and in almost 95% of the conversations people say they are terrified, scared and anxious. Many of us have loved ones that have Covid-19 and are worried sick over them. I personally had a close friend that self resolved and I have 2 very close family members who have it and are in week three of at home treatment. I am praying to God for their health and there was promising news today. All of us have loved ones that are essential workers putting themselves at risk in fighting this pandemic. Many of you are mothers and fathers that worry about the children and how to educate them or how to make life somewhat normal for them.

So that is the HEAVY introduction to my chronicle. Sorry if I brought you down but this is reality for many. Is there a silver lining????? At first I said Oh Hell No!!!! THERE IS A SILVER LINING HERE!!!!! There are lesson, many lessons more than I will be able to list. Before I share some of the lessons I have learned, I want to tell you about what, for me, was an interesting day.

March 12th, 2020:

I had two final interviews for great jobs however there was news in the forecast that was making me a little fearful regarding the Virus. I let those fears go and put my big girl panties on, stayed optimistic and was ready to go. About 15 minutes before my FaceTime interview, I get a call that they had to postpone my interview with the CFO. He was being pulled into an emergency action meeting to face what was coming due to Covid-19. In my head I could just imagine the enormous amount of responsibility that this leader felt in navigating what to do for all stores and employees in the chain. I mean, I get it, because I was watching the news about 30 minutes before my interview with him and there was already speculation of a shut down across the US. I was really loving this job opportunity and I just hope for the best. The other was in person outside of Boston for another company I'm digging. I reached out to the coordinator just to confirm all was still a go. Luckily it was. I interviewed with two company heads and the interview was solid. Now keep in mind I have been on the job hunt for months. These two positions are great opportunities that were looking pretty good for me. Again I hope for the best and would be lucky to have either one of them.

In the next fews days the shit starts hitting the fan. Of course I am nervous that I will be jobless for longer than I planned to be and the financial impact it could have, if this lasted longer than we think. I am really good at saving and investing so the emergency fund is there but I don't want to use it at all. The really great thing is that both company's sent me amazing emails, text messages and calls with wishes of health and safety, and once there back in business they would proceed with the process. This made me feel hopeful and blessed.

The Lessons:

So there are many good or interesting lessons to take from this. What I mean by interesting is that some of these lessons have substance to unpack and can be even bigger ideas for what the future could look like. 1-We have learned to sacrifice for the safety of others by staying home. We have become creative in how to communicate more personally with family and friends. Not a weekend goes by without a virtual hangout with some of my favorite ladies. This of course includes cocktails. 2-I strongly believe that we will become an even healthier society as we've seen the impact it is having on those with comorbidities. 3-Some of us have embraced being in the kitchen and trying new recipes, but not the gaining weight part LOL. 4-Employers will learn a lot about how to make it feasible to allow employees to work from home. 5-We have learned a lot about what we can live without. I walk around this home and think why the hell do I need all of this shit for. Don't get me wrong it's nice but I have thought long and hard about Tiny House Nation or just downsizing. I'm seeing what is really important. 6-Relationships have become stronger, as it is challenging to be with your loved ones 24/7. It's inducing improved levels of patience. I don't know about you but Jose and I have made it work. We have breakfast together then we go our separate ways either doing projects, reading, writing or working out and then we meet up and cook dinner together and enjoy our evening. It is a sweeter more tender level of intimacy. Pretty soon we will call each other Ma and Pa LOL. 7-I know many of you have figured out how to make it work with your children and you have done things that you thought you would never do. I recently told one of my friends that if I had to home school my kids they would fail LOL. So I take my hats off to you Mom's and Dad's making it work with distant learning. 8-We've learned to take care of our beauty needs from home and I know I can save some money in the future for sure. After all while beauty is not a top priority it is nice to feel good about oneself. 9-We have been enjoying nature walks or bike rides, talking to neighbors as we walk by, while social distancing. It reminds me of my days in the Bronx as a child, where everyone would sit on the stoops and congregate and greet our neighbors as they came in and out of the building.

There are many negative and sad lessons. 1-Everyone is a damn expert on social media or sometimes minimize how you are feeling about this, oh and the conspiracy theorist are popping up everywhere. Listen we all have access to all kinds of information and we are all capable of making up our own minds!!! 2-Online shopping is going to kill many retailers so Amazon is getting too rich and I think Bezos should pay a percent of his excess earnings back to Main Street USA. 3-Wearing mask's is annoying so again hats off to those nurses, doctors and medics having to wear them for up to 12 hours. 4-Having to disinfect every damn thing coming into the house. Some of my friends are making their hubbies change their clothes in the garage when they come home from work to avoid spread. We are getting crazy with all of this extra shit we have to do. 5-You don't know what to believe as the story line has changed so many times since the beginning of this, that my head is spinning. 6-Those that are dying are dying alone and maybe saying their last goodbye via FaceTime. Just writing that last sentence overwhelms me with sadness. Also there are multiple family members dying at the same time. Imagine going through that tragedy. 7-We have our poor medical field at the brink of exhaustion working 12 or more hours to hold it together. Many of them have to then go home and manage a household. 8-One that is so critical is that many families are struggling financially, can't put food on the table or pay their bills. Food insecurity in America is currently at an all time high. It is devastating to see milk and food being thrown out and food banks running low. How does that happen. I know I want to do my part and help in the local community in which I live in.

There are more lessons or thoughts than I am not listing here of course and if you would like you can add what you have learned through this crisis in the comments section of the blog. I would love to hear from you.

Finally these are tough times and like I said in a short blog blurb the other day. When my husband told me "this seems like the end of the world" it thrusted me into a scared straight moment. I don't think he is off by stating that. There are people of faith that might be able to better answer that question. My immediate answer is, this is the end of the world as we know it. It might never be the same at least for a very long time. For all of us it is so important that when we can go back to the new normal don't be tough on people who move through the change curve slower than you. Be supportive and understanding. I do wake up some days and my mind goes to dark places not like mental health or depressed but just sad. Sad that we've lost so many. Sad that many will not know when they will get their money to pay their bills or feed the family. Sad that our younger generations are experiencing this and that our older generations are at such high risk. But then I have to count my blessings and thank God for all that he has blessed me with, for another day of life and this helps me forge on. Stay blessed, healthy and safe.